A false understanding of the human mind, even if it makes you feel good, cannot bring you true happiness.
The Emotion Machine
Psychology + Self Improvement
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Authentic happiness doesn’t mean you’re never sad - but that you understand your sadness when it happens and you see the bigger picture.
Pushing Buttons
If you’re acting like a machine, don’t be surprised when I start pushing your buttons.
Writing Is Free Therapy
Writing is one of my favorite tools for organizing my thoughts and feelings. It’s like free therapy.
Pay Attention to What Offends You
Pay particular attention to the stuff in life that offends you. Often those emotional overreactions can be a result of an underlying fear or lack of understanding.
The 4 Fundamental Pillars of Emotional Intelligence
Usually when we think of “intelligence” we associate it with things like logic, math, and science.
However, according to psychologists such as Daniel Goleman, “emotional intelligence” (EQ) is another aspect of intelligence that is often over-looked.
The basic view of emotional intelligence is that emotions aren’t necessarily the opposite of thinking, but a different way of thinking about different types of problems that exist in our world.
In other words, emotions can be a very valuable tool in guiding our choices and decision-making.
Emotional Distance Isn’t Always a Bad Thing In Your Relationships
Traditional wisdom says the closer two people are in a relationship, the better. But recent research shows that this isn’t necessarily the case.
A 2013 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that the key to healthy relationships wasn’t whether individuals were closer to each other, but if there “closeness” was at a comfortable and suitable level.
In other words, there needs to be a balance found between being “too close” and “too distant” in our relationships.
If someone is too close, we’ll probably end up feeling annoyed and suffocated by that person. But if someone is too distant, we’ll probably end up feeling needy and deprived of attention.
There’s a complete difference between suppressing emotions and managing emotions. “Suppressing” is an attempt to ignore or avoid what you’re feeling, and pretend you’re feeling something else. But “Managing” requires acceptance and self-honesty, and then responding to your emotions in an appropriate way given the situation.
Emotional Labor: The Role of Emotions At Work
Sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined the term “emotional labor” to refer to professions which require individuals to express certain emotions, regardless of how they feel.
The idea here is that employees are often expected to display the right emotions to properly perform their jobs. The cashier or waitress is expected to smile at you and say, “Have a good day!” even if they aren’t in a good mood, or they couldn’t care less how the rest of your day goes.
Every job requires a certain level of emotional labor. A good businessman needs to control his temper during a meeting, a good doctor needs to be empathic toward their patients, and a good flight attendant needs to be kind and respectful toward passengers.
We don’t often think of these emotional aspects of work as actual “work,” but they do require will-power and energy – and they can often be just as draining as physical or mental work.
